At the sushi joint was that same cute Thai waitress, and another, even cuter one of unknown ethnicity who I had seen and flirted with before when I picked up solo one time with no ring.
I asked the Thai one, "Didn't you used to work at ______ ?" She was surprised I remembered her; apparently it's been like two years. I turned on my serial killer charm and charming criminal smile and told her, "How could you expect me to forget you?" She blushed deeply and that easily, boom, done. Got her. Or should I say, she got me. Or so she thinks.
Most guys pride themselves on getting digits. That's not enough for me. I'm on a level so advanced, I make them offer ME their phone numbers. They don't even know I'm controlling the game from above.
I told her she had changed her hair since it didn't flip out at the ends any more, but that it looked nice this way too. She didn't say anything, just blushed even more furiously. Just figured it couldn't hurt if I locked it in even more firmly. Sometimes I impress even myself.
testing 123
So anyway the other waitress of course saw me chatting up the Thai one and making headway, so it made me even more desirable to her. When the Thai one disappeared into the back I approached the cuter waitress and gave her a bit of the "I haven't seen you here lately, I was looking for you" coupled with my raised eyebrow, innocent-schoolboy-getting-into-mischief-and-am-I-caught?, aka angel-with-halo-caught-in-my-horns, smile. It was a perfect lay-up to the net, and she caught and returned the ball with "You should have called me, " with the same smile. I played totally innocent, which made me even more irresistible: "Why would I know your phone number?" [shrug]. She blushed and scribbled it on an empty ticket. Perfect alley-oop into the net! The crowd goes wild. I really am a god damn sight to behold when I'm in action.
ATTENTION FEMALE EARTH HUMANS
RESISTANCE IS USELESS!
RESISTANCE IS USELESS!
~
I stumbled across this guy's blog. He thinks he's really duplicitous. Here's a quote:
"I do a lot of work with young people. It is a very rewarding experience and the teenage boys are always amazed to discover just how much I dated. I tell them I was single for a great many years, which is true to some extent. I just leave out the fact that I was very promiscuous. Again--this is a study in duplicity, yah?"
You call that duplicity?? To me that's no different than answering "No" when one gets asked "Honey, does this dress make my ass look fat?" I'm not putting him down or glorifying my own multiple lives but boy does it feel like much ado about nothing to me, reading that. I'm the one with fake driver's licenses with matching fake car registration to stick in the glovebox in case a date girl goes rummaging around in my glove compartment when I'm in the liquor store or something; a second license plate to keep them from doing a background check on me, untraceable cell phone and a reason why they can't come over to my house, all that.
I've got my relationship with my wife, and my relationship with my friends where I tell a couple of them a little about my relationship with my wife and they know I'm something of a ladies' man; then another, different relationship with each of my side girls. One of them is a romance thing, another is a kindred spirits thing, another is a sex thing where she wants me to be domineering and drag her into the car or a motel or her home and pull her pants down and her shirt up and do whatever the hell I want with her. The hornier I am and the more voracious my appetite for her body, especially when I just tear her clothes off and gorge myself, the wetter she gets and the harder she comes.
But, I don't have much of an appetite any more. Not lately. Not for a great long while. I'm going to see whether I can stop taking care of business on my own and whether it makes me hornier. After as many orgasms a day as I'm used to, I bet I start getting wood left and right like an embarrassed schoolboy.
~
Anyway for the record I didn't want those girls' phone numbers. I just couldn't not get them. Like walking past a low-hanging sign and not reaching up and high-fiving it to see whether you can touch it. C'mon - you know you have to.
Besides -
They offered them to me.
.
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