Yappers

I was posed a question: "i find real women untouchable if they are bereft of intelligence and/or personality. the last thing i need is to have someone yapping in my ear about reality television and nail polish. how do you get around that?"

That's an interesting one. I'll start back one step. As I said, talking about my addictions to that girlfriend of one of my best friends (not the Armenian girl, another one and another of my closest friends) really clarified things to me, because instead of just knowing a certain overall thing, I really had to simplify things in order to explain them to another person. In so doing, it simplified things for me.

For example, one of the things I told her is how I find that I tend to see women one of two ways:

1. To love them deeply in a sisterly way, where I no longer can take them seriously as a sexual person. Meaning, like, if they were to try to be alluring to me, instead of it seeming hot and enticing, it would seem more banal and off-putting, as if they were a prepubescent child vamping it up, trying to act like a woman.
   
   And also, if I were to try to act sexual toward them, I'd feel completely corny about it. Since I let them see sort of the "real" me - as I see it, I guess, which is part of the answer, I just realized - then I'd feel like I'm trying to act like some macho men if I were to act sexually toward them the way I do to the other category of girls. And I'm afraid they'll ridicule me for acting like that.
   
   
2. To love them in a romantic way, where I see them and myself as sexual. I feel totally comfortable in my Casanova side where I say gushy romantic stuff and make them swoon, or when I make eyes at them and so on. And I feel comfortable in my Don-Juan-in-the-bedroom role, where I'll have my way with her however I please.
   
   Yet at the same time, I'm not comfortable being the childlike me with these women. I'm afraid they'll ridicule me for showing my immature side.
   

Anyway, the answer is: with the women who are the reality-show watchers and nailpolish talker-abouters, it only works if

A) they are really hot, by which I mean, sexually, not necessarily lookswise

and B) if they keep their mouth shut.

LOL!

I'm serious though. If the communication is strictly sexual, it's not evident just how incompatible they may be. Your brain fills in the blanks, and/or it just takes what it sees at face value. I'm talking about deep, reverberating, pulsating music in a dark club, where the two of you can dance and show each other how great you'll be in bed. Or making out in the car in the rain, or on the beach at night. No talking, just sexual compatibility.



Boy I'll tell you what, though - I totally agree. That one mistress I've had for the past 1.5 years, the Mexican... I'll have to write the story about that one, and the night we spent on New Year's - our first date - it's straight out of a movie, I swear. It was like being on drugs, it was that surreal.

Anyway, I fell madly in love with her for about 6 weeks I think it was. After that, one day, I fell out of love with her so hard that I wanted to break it off completely. I believe it happened when we were on the phone and she was telling me some story about some people I don't even know. She is extremely intelligent and extremely intuitive - really it's quite spooky, she's that good; it's like ESP - but she was going on and on just doing a massive brain dump of all this extraneous and quite boring information. I could barely understand her as it was, because her sexy accent is so thick, and she was laughing and speaking so rapidly and about so many strangers and about such an uninteresting (to me) anecdote, that I had just no idea what the hell was going on. I began daydreaming and just saying "Uh huh" and "haha" and "Man" and "really?" over and over, while thinking, "Oh my god, I have GOT to get out of this situation."

More to come tomorrow; I just finished roughing out another whole post.