I have this friend; she's an editor at one of the biggest magazines on the planet. She is very intelligent, very witty, very quick, and has surprisingly big boobs for her frame.
She told me "You're kinda on the prowl, aren't you?"
Really? Me? No.
Am I?
Hmmmmm.... well... maybe a little.
Anyway that was a few weeks ago. Here is the current roster:
26 years old - My friend's baby mama. Mexican with a Lara Croft body.
33 year old Half Mexican/Half Filipina *NEW*
25 year old Japanese girl
23 year old Cambodian girl *NEW*
26 year old Half Japanese/Half white girl who models
24 year old Peruvian girl *NEW* (sort of)
24 year old White girl into BDSM
Friend's baby mama: this is the 26 y.o. Mexican girl from South Central. Good lord her breasts are incredible. Last time I saw her I poured baby oil all over them and rubbed them with one hand while she layed on her back playing with herself until I blasted on her tits. HOLY crap they felt INCREDIBLE in my hands. I am definitely doing that again. I hope. I'll explain in a minute.
Cambodian girl: Her parents are from Cambodia but they are Chinese. Anyway, this bitch is CUTE! Hoooly moly. She looks like a prettier version of Keymore Cash! She is fine.
So get this. one year ago (10 months) I saw this gorgeous and delectable creature on a sex personals site. She was so hot I figured there was no way I could get with that. Plus she was in O.C.
A few days ago I see her on a dating site. totally recognize her! So I pull up her old profile on the sex personals site. No anal sex. No S&M. Whaaaa? Borr-rrrinng.
how i sposed to slap a bitch?
choke a bitch?
force a bitch to do shit that she wants me to make her do?
so i have no idea what i'm supposed to do to this bitch.
make sweet sweet love??
kiss and have missionary sex lying straight out on top of her?
or can i at least put her on her bed on her back and i stand next to it and fold her legs back and drill her?
fuck
we'll find out
But that sex profile says she's looking for a boyfriend without the commitment. So at least that's perfect, right?
And now on this new dating site (non-sex personals, just a dating site) i see she has moved closer.
I hit her up, she totally digs me.
We move to text. i spit like two or three funny things and she said "You always know exactly what to say." followed by "are you good at massages? "
so i figured she was goofing around, plus i was at home so i couldn't make a move on that
so i played back.
next day she emails "i need a massage. "
i write "ok, i'll come massage your back if you're good. if you're really good i'll massage your front."
her: "i get off school at 6-7. U wanna massage me later?"
So instead of saying Yes like a chump, i get more assertive: "Sounds good, i'll be over." HAHA
her: "ok, call u later"
WTF
SO EASY
and she's SLUTTY! and horny!
love it!
I stalk her other profiles (myspace, etc.) and gather intel. What I like about young girls (I dunno whether this works on older girls since I haven't been getting a ton of them, but I assume they are wiser) is that you can use psychological tactics on them. For example, when I was talking to her about what she was looking for, she described how she wants to be free, etc., and assumes any guy she's with will have his side action too. So I said "so you're basically looking for like, a boyfriend without the commitment." BAM! instantly her guard was up. Wow! First time anyone ever caught that, especially anyone so young. She is very sharp. She says "Did you read that somewhere or something?" I used reverse psychology at that point and not only instantly talked my way out of it but had her thinking we are on the exact same wavelength.
Anyway she seems pretty cool and is nice and slutty BUT... aside from no S&M or anal, she lives at home. Aiyeeee! How a man sposed to fuck a cambodian or chinese bitch with her ching chong parents in the barren living room with the white rug and statues?
white tiles in the entryway, all silent and shit
:knock knock: on her bedroom door
"(chinese goobbledygook at her door)"
she sighs and huffs and puffs over to her bedroom door, opens it, yells at mom in chinese
closes it
now i'm sposed to get back to ravaging her
Please.
guranteed if her parents are fobbers they'll look at me like the enemy with dead eyes
"you here to fuck my daughtah!"
yessss.... yes. i here to fuck you daughter. you daughter slut.
"SHE NOT SLUT!! SHE STUDENT!!"
she's a slutty whorey student, ma'am. i brought you some twin dragon almond cookies
"Ahhhhh ancient chinese secret!"
yes, ancient chinese secret!
"you good boy. you go in."
ok thank you. oh ma'am do you have any prophylactics?
mannn i PRAY her parents are like M.I.A. or SOME shit. or that she's a grownup!!
i mean acts her age at least
fuckin 23 and acts all rebellious and covered in tattoos, i fuckin hope she's as self-standing-up-for as she likes to come off
half mex/half flip. This chick I met online a few weeks ago. She's very cute, 33, short, and thick. She is SO fun! We laugh all the time. She's easily the funnest (I know that's not a word) chick in memory.
First we talked on the phone for a week. Then she said I could pass by her work last weekend so I did. BUUUuuuuuUUUT....
I fucked up. First I called mexican baby mama and told her I was coming to see her. Then I called this 38 year old chick I met online and said we could get coffee and meet each other. She was real cool, into most of the same shit I am, cute, white, but 5'10". Whoa. Too tall for me these days. I used to be 5'8" and 5/8ths of an inch. But I shrank!! Now I'm 5'7" and a half or some shit with no shoes on!
Anyway so then I called half mex/half flip and she said I could pass by and say hi at her job. She works at one of those private indoor playgrounds for kids that you can rent out for parties and stuff.
I figured, I would pass by her work, then go fuck baby mama, then grab coffee with 38 year old on the way back.
On the way to half mex/half flip's work, I call the Chinese girl. Spend 1 hour bullshitting outside a grocery store. I pick up a couple treats for 1/2 mex 1/2 flip: two chicken strips in case she wants to nibble, and a pretty but small dessert cake thing.
I go visit her. She's cute!! Wow. Short, with a mop of curly black hair, like a little tan Betty Boop. Big tits, nice round ass, kinda chunky in a super nice way. God damn.
She's got a lot of tattoos, it looks really spicy. I give her the food treats. I think it's a hit. You know, old fashioned guys weren't so dumb. They would bring candy and flowers to girls. You know what? They were not so dumb at all! That is pretty frickin smart. Girls love that shit. It shows you went out of your way, shows you care, and they love sweets and pretty things. I am definitely going to bring treats way more often.
She asks whether I have to go. "No, I'd love to hang out but I figured you have to work." "No, it's ok. We're slow" Sure I can. I hang out til like 6:30. Then she asks again whether I need to go. "no, I don't, but I figured you were going out." So I we go to dinner. The whole evening - dinner, beforehand, everything - really every time I talk to her - I am totally funny! Unbelievable. It's like I'm in top form around here.
One of the things we talk about is dating and she says, "you don't know what the other person is doing when you're not together so how I look at it is, those times when you're together, you're together, and when you're apart that's your business."
By the time dinner's over it's like 10:30 PM and my wife and my baby mama and the 38 year old white chick are all pissed at me and texting up a storm. Fuck. This may be it, my life may be self destructing.
I drive her back to her work and for the third time she asks whether I need to go. I say no and she invites me in. We go down the slides, play in the ball pit, and fire up jolly jump.
Inside the jolly jump we lay down and talk. Then she moves closer. Kisses me. I was happy but also disappointed she cut in front of me and didn't let me make the first move.
We make out and it's good! She talks a little too much and it's annoying, like she's not into it. I like it when a girl is into it so much that she can't talk so much. I love talking, but, I want girls to be so turned on they are lost in it.
Anyway she totally strips naked. Hel-lo! She's totally comfortable and it's great! I have never been with a girl who didn't have a fitness model body but still was this comfortable and confident. Man she looks really nice too. She mentions how her boobs used to be an F but now that she lost 20 lbs they're double-D's. Fine by me! Haha
She also has a really soft body, and a nice round ass. She talks a LOT. She asks what I'm into. I ask her what she's into. "I like giving head, I love getting fucked doggy style while I play with my clit, I like anal sex sometimes... um, what about you?" Sounds good to me! Shit.
So once again the DOWN side is, she has her own place but in a week is moving back in with her parents to take care of one of them who is sick. Dammit! Just when I thought I found a perfect one.
So, 38 year old white chick sends me a NASTY text message. Followed by a nastier email the next day. I write back and apologize sincerely and she says thank you for the apology.
Baby mama hasn't contacted me since. DOH!!
I need to save that relationship. Stay tuned.
I talked my way out of it with my wife but jesus. I need to chill. She recognizes patterns. She totally suspects something.
I'll write more about the 25 year old white girl into BDSM, and the Peruvian girl, later. And the Japanese girl.
