You Can Fool Some Of The People Some Of The Time, But You Can't Fool Yourself All The Time

I don't know, you know, I just... I get off track for two seconds and the next thing you know it's like having to walk an extra mile to get home, just to avoid someone you were supposed to call back.

I guess I've been avoiding writing
I don't know why

I just, I find myself wanting to or being compelled to attract people, but to attract them means I'd have to BE attracted to them, and if I'm really not, I find myself convincing myself that they're attractive and so on, and then, when we get close to hooking up, at some point I just see them for who they are: poor, desperate, banal, a bit pathetic and therefore heart-wrenching...

I'll write more shortly.