INT. SEDAN - NIGHT
Harry is emptying his pockets... passport, business cards etc. All documents under his name "Renquist". He double checks that his pants and jacket pockets are empty. Gib fastidiously puts the items into a plastic zip-lock.
HARRY
Empty. Go.
Gib starts handing him items from a briefcase. This should all feel like a tired ceremony between them.
GIB
Harry Tasker wallet. Harry Tasker passport. Plane ticket stub, hotel receipt, Tasker. Two postcards of Lake Geneva. House keys. Souvenir snowing Swiss village.
That's me. Harry Tasker billfold, Harry Tasker driver's license (you peel the first layer of lamination with its holographic seal off your real driver's license and stick it onto the fake license you Photoshopped and printed out on thick glossy paper), Harry Tasker cell phone (prepaid so there are no bills in the mail or on the web, and you buy the service in the area in which you claim to live, so your area code and prefix are correct)...
The cell phone is an important one. It's amateurish, cheap, and risky to have just one phone and simply program it with guy's names in place of the girls' real names. Your wife or girlfriend could check the bill and see what numbers you called and when, then call them and get a woman or hear a woman's voice saying to leave a message, etc. See it snowballing? Now your mistress has your real home phone on her caller ID, and so on. Now it gets worse. The possibilities are endless. I don't need to spell it out for you.
You also don't want your wife to check your voicemails and hear any of your messages, and even if you never gave her your passcode, she could hit redial on the house phone and read it off the display as the extra few digits you entered after your cell phone's number. And you never want to create an issue by not giving her your passcode if she ever asked.
Taking risks like that are like bad lies. Sooner or later the odds catch up with you. It's inevitable.
Back to the alter ego. You need to carry cash, lots of it. You can't be hitting an ATM in the middle of the night somewhere when you were supposedly somewhere else. Your bank statements come to your house, and anyway they're available online. Think about it. You also don't want her alone in your car for long. What if she goes through the glovebox, looking for something, innocently or not? Real name, real address on registration, etc. Keep it locked all the time.
You have to keep your stories straight, and have thought through and rehearsed every possibility. What if you get pulled over? You have to be able to produce your real license from your real wallet, and not get caught with your fake one, and have an explanation to your girlfriend for why the officer called you by another name. Simplest and most boring is best. Claiming you are in the CIA or the Witness Protection Program is amateurish and risky.
What about your fake reason why you don't use credit cards? Again, simplest and most uncool is best. You have shitty credit, or, they are all maxed out, or, you never got any credit cards when you were younger since you didn't want to start using them unwisely, but now since you have no good lines of credit, you can't even get a card, etc.
What if your vehicle breaks down and needs to be towed? Where will you have it taken and how can you avoid having her drive you home? If she insists, where will she drop you off and how can you avoid having her try to come inside?
What if you run into someone your wife knows? That scenario in itself spawns a tree of possibilities and with each one, multiple trains of thought that must be considered. Above all, you have to do damage control with this acquaintance to minimize the idea s/he thinks you're cheating. You also want to make sure your girlfriend doesn't notice you doing this. "This is my... coworker buddy Jenny" won't fly, and besides, any smart acquaintance - or wife - will see through it. The idea is not to expose yourself to your girlfriend, thereby ruining your relationship, just to ensure not looking like you were cheating.
Wedding ring? Where do you stash it while you are on your date, and how do you make sure you don't get a tan line where your ring is? There's one thing that can't be avoided, though. That's feeling like the scum of the earth when you see your precious ring along with loose change, three breath mints, two condoms, and pocket lint, in your palm at the counter of the hooker motel.
What about holidays? You better think about it long and hard before you start anything, since New Year's and Valentine's Day are the big two. Your birthday would be up there alongside them, but that's what the fake ID is for. Fourth of July and some other ones are snuggled pretty close in the number two spot, so you better end your outside relationship, or not start it, or have your excuses lined up, before the holidays.
~
The retransformation shouldn't take place in front of your house, nor should it take place someplace public like a gas station on a corner where some friend of your wife's might see your vehicle, or worse, stop for gas.
Trace evidence? Your hair smells like a smoky bar or club, and your hand or wrist is stamped. Receipts in pockets? Stray hairs of the wrong color on the passenger seat? How about the smell of perfume on your neck or clothes, or worse, the smell of pussy on your cock? If you're in a hotel/motel you can take a shower, and it's best to leave the pits unwashed and use soap on your neck and from the waist down, or you may give yourself away when you come home smelling freshly scrubbed. If not in a motel, it's time for a hooker's shower with those brown paper towels. Anyone who's tried wetting toilet paper and wiping with that will know it disintegrates and causes more of a mess than you had in the first place. And the first time your paper towels get water on your clothes and you have to wait for them to dry, or if you're in a hurry and decide to come right into the house, get a glass of water, and spill it on yourself to cover for it, either way you're thinking, "This shit is way more complicated than I thought."
What about your clothes? There is a whole topic of discussion unto itself. The smell of cigarettes from that bar or club, and if you have an alternate set of clothes that you left the house with, how do you account for why your going-out clothes are in your car, if they get found out? How do you sneak them inside to wash and get the next set?
It is a tremendous amount of work.
It's funny, having two girls you don't really get twice as much sex. And you get ten times as many problems.
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