Dark Life

I saw some great shoes today, on a skinny, gorgeous girl walking outside the supermarket. They were suede and had very thin soles, which made her seem more elegant and catlike in her track pants and t-shirt. With the right jeans and shirt, they would look good on me. If I lost some weight. I had considered hitting on her, but I didn't have my game tight: wasn't dressed or smelling nice; had no second cell phone to pretend like it was my real cell in case she asked for my number instead of giving hers out; wasn't driving my Navigator, and the car I was driving was dirty; and I feel like my teeth aren't very white. I need to get them whitened. But first I need to have them cleaned. And to do that I really need to start flossing first, and use a dental pick to remove whatever plaque I can so I'm not a total slob for the dental hygienists. And to get the most out of the whitening I should start using this Sonic Care toothbrush my wife bought us. Two weeks of using it whitened the heck out of her teeth. Also I'm not feeling very fit lately. I bought some jeans 8 months ago or so, and already they barely fit. I have packed on some weight just by being my usual sedentary self and by I guess eating more calories than I burn. So lately I've been cutting back on what I eat, just eating enough to not be hungry. I'd like to exercise but it never seems to happen. The wife would be pissed if I went jogging or to the gym without her, and when she's gone I, I guess inevitably, get caught up in porn.

Is it just me or are the Europeans equally bad at making pizza as they are at making porn? Where's the cheese and tomato sauce for god's sake?