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How?

And won't I miss my porn? God how I love my porn. Some of favorite pictures or movies are like good, good friends of mine. They're beautiful.

And how will I not stare at girls? Flirt? Scheme? Cheat? My god, they're everywhere. They've been on my mind my entire life- definitely since I was 5, maybe earlier.

And won't I just fuck up? I mean, it seems like for every one person that get clean and stays that way, recovery is filled with ten people who keep fucking up. I have no self control, I'll be one of the ones who fuck up.

I can't do moderation. I have no feel for it. And I can't have a life with no porn.
But my inability to moderate can be a good thing. I'm one of those people who, when he falls off the wagon, indulges to incredible excess. But when I'm on the wagon, I'm really on. If I can keep it up, I can keep it up for a long time.

One time we were bowling with some friends, and I'm no bowler, it was like the fourth time in my life I had ever bowled. As usual I got a 78 or so. I vowed to do better the next time.

I analyzed my play and thought about how to do better. Two weeks later we returned to the bowling alley, and I proceeded to knock out a 270. People around the alley were clapping, watching, it was pretty cool. I told the girl in the lane next to us (who was bowling pretty badly) "It's ok, I bowled a 78 my last game a couple weeks ago." "Yeah, right! You're probably a pro!"

Behind me, I heard my friend quietly tell my wife in awe, "Man, he can do anything he puts his mind to." She proudly replied, "I know."

Does she?