Witness

A year ago, when my wife was pregnant we went to a baby education type class every Saturday, to learn whatever else we could. She's like a baby expert in the first place but a class couldn't hurt.

It was small had a handful of other couples there. One of them was this 20-something couple who looked Mexican but definitely born here, the fifth-generation kind who are as Americanized as any whiteboy.

The girl looked remarkably like my first real girlfriend. Huge brown eyes, tiny mouth, pert little nose, and lush lips, like a freshly cut fig. First g.f. had big boobs. This one had huge ones, I mean really huge. Like almost freakishly huge, but not. Easily these were DDD's or larger, and the girl was quite slim, too, wtf?

In class the husband was like me, class clown. When the classes finally wrapped up I told them we should exchange phone numbers and hang out, since our babies' due dates were so close. They agreed.

I thought it would be fun to make new friends since I love to be witty and charming, but really I was hoping to have sex with this girl. I felt bad about it but I also wanted her pretty badly. I fantasized about her a lot.

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Fast forward to today. We have become much closer friends and we hang out once a week or once every two weeks. But strangely, I really don't want to fuck her that much any more. It turns out they belong to a particularly annoying religion, the one where they come around knocking on your door every weekend, so that's a big minus. It also turned out that she converted when they got married. She wasn't one before. And they got married because she got pregnant. And they got pregnant because, obviously, they had premarital sex.

Now, though, she's very straightlaced, I mean to the point of going crazy being this super prim and proper prude. A week ago when we were out to dinner, her husband mentioned how there were a couple frames in The Little Mermaid where the priest marrying them (I have no idea who the mermaid married) had a "woody." She was so worked up over this that after we left, she made him call me and apologize for talking about that. What the hell happened to the girl with big tits who has premarital sex?! Surely she is going overboard trying to show how super worshipful and holy she is, I mean, she's a new convert so she's got to make up for her previous couple-three decades' of not being a Witness. But Jesus Christ, lighten up. Get realistic, here.

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Last night we went to hang out at Borders Books and maybe grab dinner with them. We ended up walking next door to T.J. Maxx, a place I had never been in before. Apparently it's some sort of bargain place that sells big name clothes and stuff. I found the exact belt I lost when I left it in the hotel I'd been at with my mistress. It was $14.99, half the price I originally paid for it at Macy's. I bought it, and another one I liked. I will be more careful this time.

What I noticed more than anything last night was that I no longer want to have sex with this woman. Oh, sure, if she fell onto my erect penis mouth-first I wouldn't mind, but I don't even fantasize about her any more, not the slightest bit. Part of it must be because my sex drive has suddenly taken a huge downturn this past year or so. But another part of it is that I know there is no hope of ever getting together with her casually. I used to hope she was the one who wasn't all brainwashed and religioused up. I fantasized that her straightlaced husband who was a virgin when they got together, was too uptight to satisfy her the way I would. And believe me, i would make sure I did. She'd love him, of course, but she'd want to meet with me for fun.

Now that I see there is no way in hell we're having casual sex, I have lost all interest in her, not that I've had much anyway this past year. I'm changing. It's interesting experiencing this all.

Really maybe I'm just becoming a more normal person. Finally.

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