Life is a funny thing. I've changed so much in the past 6 months, and so much in the preceding 6 months, that I am a whole other person.
Almost all of the appeal of getting off has kinda worn off for me. Maybe if I had a dry spell with no orgasms that would change, but frankly I have lost most interest in porn, affairs, random hookups, you name it.
I've made out with (kissing and sucking their tits, nothing more) three women recently (the hippie, my friend's baby's mama, and the half black half white girl), and almost as soon as I had the first kiss, I was over it. Maybe it's because they weren't my kinda kisser, or maybe it's because two of them were nervous about their performance, or maybe it's that I just wasn't into it.
Actually come to think of it I've kissed a fourth girl, one that i did enjoy. That one was great. That one turned me on. I guess upon analysis it's because she was really turned on, not nervous, and unlike the hippie, didn't annoy me.
I need to write about each of these girls, and my mexican ex-mistress, to explain the changes that have gone on with them - and my wife - but, overall, I feel much more free.
I pretty much don't want to have an affair for that addictive rush of excitement. I have no interest in that. Amazingly.
I barely want to indulge my fantasies, kinky and otherwise, with wild girls,
I have no interest in the hippie, in even flirting or being friends with her,
I have no interest in having a romantic relationship with my ex-mistress,
I have no interest in having a romantic relationship with my friend's baby's mama,
I have no interest in having a sexual relationship with the half black half white chick,
and equally staggering, I have almost no interest in alllllll the girls I had previously earmarked as candidates for affairs.
Right now I just want to get some shit going with my life; I'm really hungry to get some personal satisfaction.
