I can't believe it's come to this

Midnight and I feel like there's nobody I can talk to about this. And I'm creating a fucking blog, of all things. My relationship with my wife is worse than ever. I avoid her more than ever, which makes her even more pissed at me, which makes me avoid her even more.

I have to think I have the largest collection of porn anyone has amassed anywhere. If I do the math it works out to hours a day of culling what I want off the internet, for almost 10 years. Sometimes it's one picture at a time, sometimes I use one program or another to download a page full of files. Sometimes I find a stolen password online and pillage pay sites for quality shit. "Quality shit;" I sound like a junkie. Which is ironic.

I have refined my technique over the years. Now I save files in folders for easy sorting later, which sometimes I get around to doing. If I find a really good site and plan to go back later and get more - which I almost always seem to get distracted away doing - then I reference the site title, page number, and content, in the folder name. This makes it very easy to see where I left off, and avoids duplicates, which take up hard drive space.

I also make text files with lists of great links I want to explore later. I rarely get around to doing it. It's funny that until this moment I have never really confronted the idea that there are all these loose ends. The idea is always in the back of my head when I make a new list, or start surfing for porn, but there is all this fresh new porn in front of me, so it's hard to stop and browse back to one of my many unfinished to-do lists.

Just how large is my collection? About 170 gigabytes. A little over 200,000 pictures and movies, in around 5,000 folders.

Some of those are temporary folders and files. See, it's useful to save the actual thumbnailed pics representing the movies a page offers. That way, you can quickly and easily see what the movies in that folder are. But when you save an entire page full of media, you also get the little garbage files that have all the other graphics and so on, from the page. I delete those later, when I get around to it. I can probably cull out about 10,000 files and 2,000 folders. It's really not that hard to do, just a lot of work. You find a file named "pixel.gif" or "spacer.gif" or "join.gif", used for page layout or something, and you just search your hard drive for all instances of that, in your porn collection. 538 instances? Delete. And so on.


Anyway, I am probably boring you now, so I am going to go sort some porn.