jedi mind trick

man there's this mexican joint on the way home. the young girl there is either looney tunes or really likes me. she's like, i have no idea, 23? pretty face, slim, lil fried egg boobs, small ass but at least it's round.

every time i go in she stares at me for seconds at a time, like i order my food and she stares me down super hard while smiling. i'm talking dead-on eye contact like it's a staring contest.

today i decided to go there and intentionally try making the sparkle eyes at her to see whether my powers had grown stronger even as my face and body have grown older. i'm figuring Al Pacino's old, he can still get bitches left and right.

she handed me my order to go and stared at me smiling, like one one-thousand, two one-thousand, three one-thousand, four one-thousand, FIVE one-thousand!! WTF!!

I go to my vehicle and I'm sitting there talking to myself about it as I read my emails on my phone and buckle up. There's a knock on my window. Huh? I turn, it's her!!

I swear, I swear to GOD it's like I glamoured her like in True Blood.

You have to admit, I am the fucking man.