conflicted

I dunno, man.

I'm conflicted.

On the one hand I really want intimacy. I want new experiences and I want excitement. I want another sex partner I'm compatible with. And if I really let myself dream, I want a girlfriend or even a wife who I am really into and who is into me, the way it's supposed to be.

There is so much at stake, my whole life is at stake, and I'm not doing anything about it.

observation 2

things are not always as they seem. you see a clip and it looks good, you search and search and download the whole shit and it's big titty bitch this, big titty bitch that, phoning it in. sometimes things are better left to the imagination.