chick update:

I wrote this a couple months ago. I'll have a current update shortly, but this will catch you up.

- 26 year old half japanese bisexual model. very smart, unbelievably cute, very kinky, very horny. single mom to two kids. this one is fun but annoying. first the fun part:

she loves anal sex. she would have anal sex every day if she could. What??

and loves getting a cock forced down her throat. hel-lo! just my type.

she also loves getting choked until she passes out. gracious. i don't need to see a girl pass out but this chick is as hardcore as they get.

but. she is too eager. i get annoyed by girls who try so hard to let me know they're available that they throw themselves at me. i like being the aggressor, not only in intimate situations but also leading up to them. girls who ask me out nonstop just bug the piss out of me. play hard to get. make me hope i can get you. do not show me you like me - i will lose respect for you because i barely like myself. make me fairly sure you like me but leave me not knowing for certain.




speaking of which, here's a new one. you guys are going to love this. it's totally me:

- 24 year old white girl into BDSM. i found her on a dating site. a little goth-ish, has a guy, blah blah. we start chit-chatting about photography and i play it TOTALLY chill. we are just friends. then she says we should get together over coffee so i can show her some shit about an old camera she has. i totally know what's up. and i'm betting she's going to dump the boyfriend. she seems familiar. in the back of my head i halfway wonder...

She also goes to the same club as the arab chick I mentioned. Small world.

anyway as informed readers know, i am a ninja information gatherer second to none. i dig around online. find her two blogs and her myspace. BAM. now I know for sure:

i talked to this chick FOUR or FIVE years ago, on a bondage/sex personals site when she was 19. Yes!!

She deleted her profile on that site years ago, but I saved it. How ya like me now?! Now I can look into what she wrote and what she was looking for, and use it to ensnare her more, if i want.

At the time she didn't do a thing for me, no spark there at all. Anyway I wouldn't put any photos in my profile back then nor send her any photos because I was paranoid about my wife finding out. Nowadays I'm more lax; I found ways around stuff and I minimize risk. You kinda cannot function at all without pics.

Anyway, when we first talked years ago she cut me off because I wasn't forthcoming with photos and I didn't really miss her. But now it's round 2.

However: Before I figured out it was her, I had realized sex is easy to come by especially in this day and age (maybe it always was and I just lacked the self confidence to put a move down back then), PLUS i have so little time away from work and home, PLUS i would rather be with my kid than some chick I really don't even like or feel attracted to. even if i can do fucked up shit to her and have her enjoy it. ALSO, i am getting more and more scared of herpes and STD's, so that keeps my actual sex on the side to a MINIMUM.

anyway sure enough, she and the boyfriend break up. in her blog that her friends read, she writes that he dumped her. in her emails to me she writes that she dumped him.

anyway she asks me to coffee the other week and starts pressing me. fucking chill, would you? i get her digits and she starts texting me to hang out every night. Lord. anyway i may slap her around a little (calm down, people. she is looking for that) and mess around but who knows.


- 25 year old japanese girl. party animal, lives at home, doesn't drive. cute face, horny, free spirited but not sure exactly how kinky. Fairly kinky. up for anything. dying to have me and one of my friends double penetrate her. hell-lloooo! she says she masturbates to DP porn and wishes she could accomodate a cock in her ass better. ya don't say. Tell ya what:


i'm willing to give it a try.


Anyway i was on the cell with her, and without her knowing it, drove to her apartment. she told me "hang on," and answered the door.

as soon as the door opened i attacked her, bodyslammed her, pinned her down, slapped her around, and forced her to kiss me. she does this annoying thing when i'm kissing her while holding her head (so she can't turn away), which is to tuck her chin down. now i'm making out with her nose. what the fuck, people.

Anyway i shoved my fingers inside her. D R I P P I N G wet.

she pushes me away then lures me back in. she's annoying. also i know she is cold hearted and that has me torn between chasing her, using her for sex, and walking away completely.

Anyway, I slap her face, her tits, and her ass. I chomp on her little tan buns and eat her out. Eventually I'm covered in sweat and we stop. ANYway....

- 23 year old EX BEST FRIEND OF THE 22 YEAR OLD FROM 2006!! WTF?! She is very raw and crude and awesome and is way mature for her age. It's weird. I really like her as a person. We probably won't have sex. THIS fucking bitch. once again, small world. i met her on another dating site and recognized her. anyway i blew it. oh well.

- 23 year old immature whiny white-ish girl. smart, chubby, cute, but way too desperate. She sent me her number right away and asked "will you really text me?" fuck!! this girl, i keep thinking she might be a little animal in bed but then again i suspect not. she is such a zero to me that i can't even remember to call her.

- I helped a Mexican chick yesterday with a broken down car; her front teeth were not very long and that bugged the shit out of me, sort of the opposite of Bugs Bunny. She also had a massive spare tire around the waist. But she has a cute face and a pierced tongue which I imagined blasting on. So i got her number and she's been texting me. man, this one tapered off, thank god. she was not attractive at all. i probably couldn't even get a hardon no matter what with this one. and i'd feel bad using her just for sex.

- 42 year old half filipina I met off craigslist. Cute, slim, smart, art lover, but way too high strung for me. kinda on-again, off-again with this one. it went from her needing tons of attention every day to zero to about a 7 now. hopefully i can chill it down to a 4.

when she needed attention every day i eventually came over to her house, hung out for a long-ass time, then finally made out with her and went down on her. she was really into it, but i just couldn't wait to get the fuck home to my kid the entire time. i was like looking at the clock watching time get pissed away.

after, she was like "wow, talk about rushing into it, hee hee!" uh what?? she basically said that it was fun and kinda wild that i basically came right over and jumped her bones. HELLO!!! EARTH TO PERSON NOT GETTING IT!!! I was over for HOURS, *plus* we slid into it. Coming over and attacking you means you open the door, I grab you and slam you against the wall and make out with your face, rip your clothes off, pin you to the ground, and do whatever i want to you. Unbelievable, this chick thinking THAT was fast.

- 25 year old arabic chick I met on a sex personals site. Heavyset, cute, very crude, very brash, but pretty straight out. Heavily pierced, heavily tatttoed, into a whole gothic kinda look. this one is cool but i am absolutely 100% not at all attracted to her. she's cool and we're good friends now but totally into me. poor girl. she's nice but come on. not me. don't be that into ME.

- 20 year old mexican chick. Now this is another one you guys will love. I met this chick two years ago at a club. gorgeous face, no lie. i put a photo of her up online and it gets tons of hits and tons of comments.

anyway, she is short and has smallish tits and a big torso and butt. i like big butts and i cannot lie, but, i want a waist smaller than your ass. that's just me. not talking shit on the fat chicks, i have love for all of you, but i am talking about where my own personal tastes lie.

anyway she looked, i dunno, what, 27? turns out she was 17 or 18 in this bar every sunday and monday night, drinking!! HELL-LOOOOO!! and covered with tattoos!!

[2006] Back in '06 i got her number and joked around, "Your boyfriend isn't going to mind?" she says "no, we're on a break." perfect, right? i joke around more and challenge her that she's giving me a fake number and either she keys hers into my phone or mine into hers, i can't remember. anyway right afterward this young mexican guy who was hovering by my elbow the entire time steps in and starts grilling her with questions looking all weak. Whaatt?? wack.

anyway i ask if that's her b.f. and she says yes! scandalous.

i walk her outside and boyfriend is playing puppy dog and trying to talk to her. i realized what a man i was in comparison to him the boy, me standing up straight, talking in a confident voice, not tagging along murmuring little blackmails and politics to try to keep his g.f.

anyway she and i start texting and calling back and forth a bit. she's a little smart but dumb overall. plus young. anyway clearly she's not cleanly broken up with this goof and it becomes clear he has another real girlfriend.

i ask about her dad and of course he cheated on her mom too. the guy's barely older than i am i think!! haha holy shit!!

anyway that all has me thinking that her pattern is to find cheaters. that's fucked up. i pray to god i can mold my brain into being a noncheater when i'm around my kid so she can magnetize to guys who aren't cheaters. but i doubt i can. how horrible.

anyway i met this DJ from Rio de Janeiro online, turns out he's visiting LA right now [2006]. i pick him up to roll to this brazilian club night and i get her to come.

i scam us all in for free like i always do to every event - i pretty much rule at that - yet another awesome thing about me i need to remind myself of, whenever i'm downing myself - and i try to hold her hand walking in but she is weird about it. she's kind of annoying. i like it when she's into me but not when i'm like "do you even want to be here?"

anyway i meet Evil E and my man is drunk. i get his digits and we consider going to this other party he invites us to, but i end up driving the DJ home on the westside and then taking that chick all the way back to LA to her car, then driving back west home again.

along the way we see the titty bars on Sunset Blvd like Crazy Girls and so on. She says she's never been to one and always wanted to go. Always?! You're barely 18!!! HEY-OOOOO!!

anyway i try to hang out with her again, drive all the fuck the way out to her house, i'm out side and she says she'll call me back in 15 and then flakes and leaves me hanging. NOT cool. Fuck this chick.

she keeps texting and calling back and forth so i try to kick it once more, she says she's in her car with her girlfriends and they are drinking in a gas station parking lot.
Pounding beers. In a car. At a gas station.
how low class is that? i'm over it. Done.

[2008] So earlier this year i see her online on messenger. BAM i hit her up. (now she's 20 years old, so all you people who think i'm a cradlerobber, calm down. )
She says she had a kid with that guy. shocker. who didn't see this coming?

anyway, i note her kid's bday and name down. months later (recently) when i see her online again, i ask how he is and A) she's broken up with her boyfriend (who didn't see this coming?) and B) I say "didn't (her kid's name) just have his first birthday a few days ago?" BAM she eats it up. chicks LOVE it when you remember dates. ladies, am i right or wrong?

anyway spreading my newer and newer wings, or should i say, spreading my wings more and more, i realize i can get WAY suggestive - beyond suggestive; i know now that i can say shit flat out - and stuff. so i pay her some compliments and start to joke around about grabbing her ass. she says she prefers spankings. oh it is ON.

so i push it more and get pretty blatant. she opens up and tells me how she likes having her hair pulled a certain way, and likes when a guy holds her hands over her head and has his way with her. Roger that, moving in for the kill. LOL.

Ok anyway i gotta get to work. talk to you guys later. thanks for reading.